Thank you for sharing so honestly. When our daughter was at her worst with an eating disorder I felt blame and guilt. It meant that my own self efficacy was low when I was with professionals. It often made how they spoke to me feel even worse. In my work with parents in that situation now, I spend a lot of time helping them to feel OK so that they can express themselves with the treatment team. The more everyone can be treated as part of a team all with different skills and perspectives to bring to the table the better. Acknowledging parents skills and strengths is so helpful when they are potentially feeling vulnerable.
Since I’ve become a parent I definitely know the need to acknowledge strengths in such a different way. Thanks Ruth and I hope your daughter is doing ok!
Vanessa, I was the psychologist for a Cleft-Craniofacial team for 8 years and helping kids with the post surgery diet was often so stressful for everyone. I am so glad he is on the mend.
And I so connect with the experience of reflecting on time as a young therapist and missing the opportunity to provide deeper empathy and understanding to families who had so much on their plate.
Vanessa, thank you for sharing this poignant experience, along with your own retrospective about yourself early on as a therapist. I also worked for years in the ED field, and look back on my work at a residential treatment center with some regrets. Empathy for what parents go through is certainly heightened when we become a parent. I hope all continues to go well as your son recovers.
Thanks Gail! Yes, so many perspective shifts in the work post kids. Watching my son not eat was gut-wrenching and highlighted just how painful ED recovery is for caregivers.
My heart goes out to you for this experience with your son and your feelings now about your early days as a clinician. I suspect you probably weren't as bad as you think you were, but also, one piece of advice I received in parent education at an ED treatment center is to assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Obviously, that's not always the case, but the vast majority of the time, we are all doing the best we can with the skills and knowledge and tools we have in the moment. I carry my own guilt and regrets from the things I did and did not do at that time, but in my best days, I remember I was doing the best I could at the time.
Wow, what a coincidence! It’s been a steep learning curve but hopefully the surgery resolves most of the issues he was having. And I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect deeper with clients as a result.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. When our daughter was at her worst with an eating disorder I felt blame and guilt. It meant that my own self efficacy was low when I was with professionals. It often made how they spoke to me feel even worse. In my work with parents in that situation now, I spend a lot of time helping them to feel OK so that they can express themselves with the treatment team. The more everyone can be treated as part of a team all with different skills and perspectives to bring to the table the better. Acknowledging parents skills and strengths is so helpful when they are potentially feeling vulnerable.
Since I’ve become a parent I definitely know the need to acknowledge strengths in such a different way. Thanks Ruth and I hope your daughter is doing ok!
Vanessa, I was the psychologist for a Cleft-Craniofacial team for 8 years and helping kids with the post surgery diet was often so stressful for everyone. I am so glad he is on the mend.
And I so connect with the experience of reflecting on time as a young therapist and missing the opportunity to provide deeper empathy and understanding to families who had so much on their plate.
Vanessa, thank you for sharing this poignant experience, along with your own retrospective about yourself early on as a therapist. I also worked for years in the ED field, and look back on my work at a residential treatment center with some regrets. Empathy for what parents go through is certainly heightened when we become a parent. I hope all continues to go well as your son recovers.
Thanks Gail! Yes, so many perspective shifts in the work post kids. Watching my son not eat was gut-wrenching and highlighted just how painful ED recovery is for caregivers.
My heart goes out to you for this experience with your son and your feelings now about your early days as a clinician. I suspect you probably weren't as bad as you think you were, but also, one piece of advice I received in parent education at an ED treatment center is to assume that everyone is doing the best they can do. Obviously, that's not always the case, but the vast majority of the time, we are all doing the best we can with the skills and knowledge and tools we have in the moment. I carry my own guilt and regrets from the things I did and did not do at that time, but in my best days, I remember I was doing the best I could at the time.
Yes, great advice and wisdom to hold on to!
Wow, what a coincidence! It’s been a steep learning curve but hopefully the surgery resolves most of the issues he was having. And I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect deeper with clients as a result.